The more and more I do these things, the fatter and fatter I become. Just last Friday alone, I had to eat a donut and piece of hazelnut cake. I’m going to have to start exercising again if I want to survive until next May. Onto the challenges.
Donut Day-As if I do not eat enough donuts as it is, this morning when I went into Dunks I got a free donut for Donut Day.
Global Parents Day- I really did not know what to do for this day but luckily my mother stopped by and I was able to pass along some well wishes for this most special of days.
Olive Day- Only way to eat an olive is to make sure it is soaked in vodka first. Ran into an old co-worker at the restaurant across the street from my house while I was drinking a martini. Very nice of this person who I barely know to take this photo for me.
Hazelnut Cake Day-Another reason for me to get fatter and fatter. At first I planned on making a cake, but realized 8 bucks at the cheesecake factory was a better investment than a cake mixer I will only use once.
Penpal Day- There are a lot of pen pal websites online nowadays. PenPalsNow.com seemed like the one for me. Pretty simple. Just click on the persons email address and send away. I sent three messages out to different women around my age. I have yet to hear back from them.
Say Something Nice Day- I’m in a group text chain with some very pretty ladies.
Heimlich Maneuver Day- Finding someone who is choking is harder than I thought it would be. Luckily, Tiger Woods missed like 4 putts inside 5 feet and it cost him on the leaderboard. Also, sick burn on my part.
Hey @TigerWoods, I know you had a great round today. But it could have been better. Here’s some tips. https://t.co/pEFjPRm1rH
— TheLastStawp (@TheLastStawp) June 2, 2018
Rotisserie Chicken Day- Picked up a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store and made a nice little dinner.
Rocky Road Day- This classic ice cream flavor took me a lot longer to find than I thought it would. Just keep eating, just keep eating.
Egg Day- Another day, more food.
Repeat Day- Apparently on Repeat Day you do something that you would prefer to do over and over again. Not a bad way to spend my Sunday.
Cancer Survivor Day- On the day to celebrate cancer survivors, I sent a text message to the closest one to me, my mom.
Chocolate Macaroon Day- More junk food to feed my fat face.
Trails Day- Pretty shitty weather out yesterday. Had to hike a trail. Closest trails to my house tend to be frequented by guys looking for a little action. It was a close call.
Old Maids Day- I’m worried about my friend Sarah. She is over 31, single-ish and has a lot of cats. A lot. So I sent her a message letting her know I was thinking about her.
Cheese Day, Cognac Day- I love cheese more than just about anything so I was really excited about this one. Too bad the bartender at Davios wasn’t as excited to be at work. Service was horrible. The cheese and grand ma I used to wash it down made it all worth it though. PS Every day is cheese day for me.