Happy No More Pablo Sandoval Day!


Even if the Red Sox lose to the Yankees tonight in the second half opener, they have already won the day. It was announced earlier that Pablo Sandoval, he of the belt-busting swings, was designated for assignment. Now as all of you (me) may know, I do not care about the size of a baseball players contract. If a billionaire wants to pay somebody a lot of money to play on their team, who am I to get mad at the contract? All I ask is that the player be productive to a certain degree. And I’m pretty sure we (me) can all agree that Panda just sucked at everything while a member of the Sox. He had a horrible first year, from being caught on Instagram during a game to just flat out sucking in the field. He showed up his second season having to defend comments that got the contract he wanted and didn’t feel like working out as a result. Good move. On top of that he played for like a week before being put on the DL with said broken belt. And this year was just more of the same. I don’t know the guy as a person but reports out of San Fran when he left suggested he wasn’t a team guy and nothing I have seen/heard during his time in Boston gives me any indication those reports were false. Sometimes you just have to cut the cord, not matter how big it is. Good luck and good riddance, Panda.

An Advocacy Organization for Disabled People Is Upset Alec Baldwin is Playing a Blind Man.

Have any of you(me) heard about the  new movie  Blind? It stars Alec Baldwin as a blind writer who has an affair with Demi Moore. Check out the poster. BlindPoster

And here is the trailer:

Pretty harmless stuff. Sure, the screencap from the trailer is the same picture used in the poster, and they clearly have different backgrounds, but that is a little tiny issue in what will most likely be a forgettable movie. stephenasmith

Apparently, something called the Ruderman Family Foundation is upset that Alec Baldwin is playing a blind man instead of, you know, an actual blind man getting the role. Come on, man. When is it all going to stop. Just look at this:

“Alec Baldwin in Blind is just the latest example of treating disability as a costume,” Jay Ruderman, the foundation’s president, said in the statement. “We no longer find it acceptable for white actors to portray black characters. Disability as a costume needs to also become universally unacceptable.”

Equating blackface with handing someone a walking stick is a bit bold, no? But it doesn’t stop there:

“This is nothing short of a social justice issue where a marginalized group of people is not given the right to self-representation,” the study reads. “We must change this inequality through more inclusive casting, through the use of Computer Graphics (CG) to create ability, through the media holding the industry responsible, through the avoidance of stereotypical stories, and ultimately through the telling of stories that depict people with disabilities without focusing on the disability. We also provide a list of resources where actors with disabilities can be proactively reached.”

They got it all figured out. The perfect solution to blind people not getting jobs portraying blind people is to use CGI to make them see? Why would they want a person who can see playing a blind person. Plus, do they have any idea how much CGI costs? I only get to see like three dragon scenes a season on Game of Thrones because that shit is expensive as all hell. You think a movie company is going to spend money on making a blind person see when they have Alec Baldwin willing and able to play the role and all they have to do is buy a pair of sunglasses? Me neither. And what does “through the telling of stories that depict people with disabilities without focusing on the disability” even mean? So you want people with disabilities to get all the roles depicting disabled people but not focus on the one thing that makes them suited for the role? Makes sense to me. Get your act together, Rudermans.

h/t Rolling Stone

Chelsea Handler v Tomi Lahren in a Debate Nobody Asked For.

I could be wrong with this headline, but I doubt it. Is there anyone on the planet who wants to see this? Politicon, the event during which this debate will take place, is not free. Why anyone would spend their money on to watch any of Chelsea Handler match wits with Tomi Lahren is beyond my comprehension level. I don’t mind Handler so much as a comedienne but have never watched her show on Netflix. Her crusade on Instagram to free the nipple was noble, however. Lahren is too over the top for me to believe she believes anything she says. Her screeds may have given her fame but they only give me a headache. These two going at it just sounds like a horrible way to spend a day.

David Price and Dennis Eckersley Had a Confrontation

David Price pitched last night. I think he pitched pretty good, all things considered. It was his seventh start since coming off the DL and he pitched 7 solid innings, allowing three runs, 6 hits, striking out 7 and most importantly, no walks. He seems to be rounding into form, which makes this report from Nick Cafardo so disappointing. I watched most of the game last night and Eck was effusive in his praise for Price’s start. I did miss the play where Price forgot to cover first on a ground ball, and from the one highlight I saw of the play, it seemed as if Eck was about to give Price an earful.

If whatever Eck said after that is the reason for the altercation, shame on Price. It should be no secret to all of you (me) that I have no patience for the Boston media. But Eck is one of the good ones and Price did forget to cover first. That is one of those plays were the commentators will always say “They work on that play the first day of spring training, no excuse to not cover the bag there.” And they are right. Price is wrong in this situation. If that is in fact what the confrontation was actually about. It could have been about anything. I think just the fact that a confrontation happened does not bode well for Price and his future in Boston. I hope I am wrong, as I am a big fan of Price and think when he is on top of his game, he is one of the best pitchers around, playoffs be damned. (Though nobody seems to remember him killing the Sox’ chances in ALCS GM 7 back in ’08.) In a perfect world, Price becomes the dominant ace he can be, the media backs off and we all bask in playoff riches come October. Is that too much to ask? Unfortunately in Boston, the answer to that is usually yes. Here’s hoping I’m wrong.


Cindy Crawford’s Daughter Got the Internet Mad at Her.

When I was a teenager in the ’90s Cindy Crawford was the hottest woman on the planet. Her, Jenny McCarthy, Pamela Anderson and Savannah the porn star(RIP) were my Mt. Rushmore of SpankBank material. So when you take Cindy’s Hall of Fame looks and put them together with the quality looks of Rande Gerber, its no surprise that their offspring is attractive. What is also no surprise is the internet being up in arms over their daughter posting a pic of herself in a bathrobe on Instagram.KaiaGerber Apparently I am out of the loop because I have never heard of Kaia Gerber. A quick google search and it appears that she is following in her mothers footsteps and becoming a model. Which is all  good, because she looks well on her way to achieving the same level of success as Cindy.  And I agree, the picture she put up is a little provocative. But without these people getting upset about it I never would have known it existed. Know why? BECAUSE I DON’T FOLLOW A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL ON INSTAGRAM.  I have nieces around her age and have no clue what their Instagram accounts are like because again, I do not follow them. But Kaia Gerber hits the genetic lottery and somehow has 1.4 MILLION people seeing every picture she takes. So before you go crazy about what a 15 year old girl is doing on Instagram, just realize that you are about to go crazy about what a 15 year old girl is doing on Instagram, you maniacs.

The Robots Have Arrived and Are Bringing Digitized Scents With Them.

All of you (me) that know me know that I think the robot-pocalypse will be here sooner rather than later. That is why my spidey senses went off when I saw this story in the Globe the other day. Sure, this nerd is saying all the right things. That the robots are just here to bring people “hot dogs and marshmallow flavor clouds.”*  Want some Dom to wash that down those aromatic ‘mallows? Good ole Gita is right there with a chilled bottle for you.Living the high life, right? Well that is exactly what they want you to think.  If life has taught me anything, it is that the robots will act as our friends before turning on us. They may seem like they are your best friend when they blow a digitized Filet Mignon into your face, but they  are actually lulling you into a false sense of security. Just as the story says, soon they will be out on the streets. Once that happens there is nothing anyone can do to stop them from bumping into trees or getting plowed over by trucks.

*That a sounds really gross when you think about it. Hot dogs and marshmallows are not two things that go together particularly well. Its probably poison. Fucking robots.